Fears
by SilverBlueMoon
Summary: Career Tributes are nothing if not fearless. However even the most ruthless Career Tribute was human once. And all humans have fears. A series of one-shot song-fics in the life of Luminosity, a District One Career Tribute, detailing how she became fearless.
1. Darkness

**This is a fifteen-part series of unrelated song-fics in the life of Luminosity, a District One Career Tribute, as she conquers her fears. Enjoy!**

**No, I do not own The Hunger Games or any of the songs.** If you want to check out the songs, the name and artist are written at the end of the last verse.

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**#15: Darkness**

**Age six, in a bedroom at the District One training compound.**

The first thing that registers on my mind when I wake up is "_it's dark_." The realization is chased by a sudden, all-consuming fear. It runs through the veins and arteries in my body in an icy wave. I can't move, can't _breathe._ The darkness it too much…it presses in on me, suffocating me.

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?_

_Leading you down into my core; where I've become so numb…_

_Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold_

_until you find it there and lead it back home._

I know that the solution is only a light switch away, but I'm paralyzed. I struggle to force my shuddering limbs to move, to pull away from the tangled net of blankets. The rought material catches on my legs, anchoring me in place. And still my heart hammers with terror.

_Wake me up inside,_

_call my name and save me from the dark._

_Bid my blood to run_

_before I come undone_

_save me from the nothing I've become._

_It's only the dark_, I tell myself. But knowing this does nothing to remove the black curtain from my eyes. I'm straining my vision so hard now that spots dance in my eyes. There's nothing I can do but lie quietly as the darkness sweeps closer to me.

_Now that I know what I'm without you can't just leave me._

_Bring me to life._

_(I've been living a lie)_

_there's nothing inside._

_Bring me to life_.

I cannot help but visualize all of the creatures that must be pulling closer to me; nimble fingered Capitol mutts preparing to eat me alive. I can feel their relentless thirst for blood in my own frantic heartbeat.

_Frozen inside without your touch,_

_without your love, darling,_

_only you are the life among the dead,_

_All of this time, I can't believe I couldn't see,_

_Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me._

I force my frozen hands to work at the frayed edges of my blanket, finally managing to pull them away from my sweat soaked body. I roll over onto my side, hunching into a ball. if I cannot see, then surely the mutts will miss me.

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,_

_got to open my eyes to everything,_

_without thought, without a voice, without a soul,_

_don't let me die here,_

_there must be something more_

I push myself out of the tangled bed sheets and stumble blindly forward. I cry out as my shin catches on something hard and sends me tumbling. On shuddering arms, I pull myself up.

_Bring me to life_

_wake me up inside_

_wake me up inside_

_call my name and save me from the dark_

I crash into the chipped plaster of my wall. I run my fingers over the rough surface above my head, searching desperately. _There_-with a faint click, the light switch flicks on. Pale golden light floods the chamber.

_bid my blood to run…before I come undone_

_save me from the nothing I've become_

_bring me to life (I've been living a lie there's nothing inside)_

_bring me to life_ (Evanescence; _Bring me to life_)

I take deep, calming breaths. _It's okay_, I tell myself. _It's okay_. And it is. With the light, I can see where I am. Not in a Hunger Games Arena, fighting against mutts. I'm at home, safe.

I lie down again. The walloping of my heartbeat gradually slows down into something resembling average. My eyelids flutter closed as I settle back into sleep.

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**So...watcha' think?**

**I have a little proposition for you. Tell me one fear (it doesn't have to be yours, just a fear,) to use in my story, and I'll make sure to mention your name in my next chapter. Deal? You can also recomment a song.**


	2. Change

**Thank you to everyone who read this. Having people tell me they like my stories really makes my day.**

**Special thanks to: Lightning Eyed, for her suggestion of fears I could use in my story. I'll attempt to include at least one.**

**Make sure to check out her stories after reading mine!**

**I do not own The Hunger Games or Kelly Clarkson's music.**

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**The Reaping; age 18.**

My heart beats nervously, thinking of what lies ahed. I readjust the skirt of my pale amber gown, doing my best to hide how nervous I truly am.

The woman up on the podium is dressed more garishly than should be allowed, with bright blue and violet curls and a face so covered in silver and gold tattoos that I can barely tell what the original color was.

"Welcome to the Seventy-second annual Hunger Games reaping," she chirps in that annoying Capitol accent. "And may the odds be ever in your favor," she adds.

"Ladies first," she continues, reaching into the glass ball.

_Grew up in a small town, _

_when the rain would fall down,_

_I'd just stare out my window, _

_dreaming of what could be and If I'd be happy, I'd pray_.

My heart beats in my chest so quickly that I think I might faint. I cannot wait to take the place of the girl whose name is called. I cannot wait to get out of the District.

_trying hard to reach out,_

_but when I tried to speak out felt like no one could hear me. _

_Wanted to belong here,_

_but something felt so wrong here,_

_so I prayed I could breakaway_…

"Sparkle Brightstone," the chirpy female screeches. I grin and step forward, blocking the path of the mousy-haired thirteen-year-old as she strides toward the stage.

Sorry, sweetheart. But this is _my_ year.

"I volunteer," I call, my voice echoing across the square. I should feel triumphant, victorious. I'm going to go away from the confinement of District one at last. Instead, I only feel a growing sence of dread.

_What have I done?_

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, _

_I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky. _

_Make a wish, take a chance, make a change, _

_and breakaway_.

I climb the steps of the podium on legs that show not even the hint of a shiver. I survey the crowd before me, seeing glances of admiration and hatred alike. That's fine. I can handle that.

_Out of the darkness and into the sun,_

_but I won't forget all the ones that I love. _

_take a risk take a chance make a change and breakaway_.

"What's your name, sweetie?" questions the escort, whose name I never bother to remember.

"Luminosity Goldengem," I tell her my eyes still on the crowd. I've lost sight of Amethyst and Glitter, my two best friends, in the gathering.

_Want to feel the warm breeze,_

_sleep out under the palm trees,_

_feel the rush of the ocean. _

_get on board a fast train,_

_fly off on a jet plane far away_

…_and breakaway_…

Soon, I'll be ushered into the Justice Building, where I will wait for an hour before I can board the train. I cannot decide if the fluttering that is gradually building in my chest is excitement or fear.

_I__'ll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,_

_I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky;_

_make a wish, take a chance, make a change, _

_and breakaway_…

But what reason would I have to be afraid? It's not the Arena, I'm sure of that. I've trained almost my whole life for the honor to fight in the Games.

_out of the darkness and into the sun,_

_but I won't forget all the ones that I love_

…_take a risk, take a chance, make a change, _

_and breakaway_…

No, I realize with a pang while situating myself within the Justice Building, what scares me is the thought that I'm finally leaving. I've never left District One before, never known anyone who has been to the Capitol.

…_buildings with a hundred floors,_

_swinging round revolving doors,_

_maybe I don't know where they'll take me,_

From what I've seen on our television, I know that the Capitol is nothing at all like the District. I may never see my home again, the strange combination of falling-apart structures and leftover luxury goods.

_gotta keep moving on,_

_moving on, _

_fly away,_

_breakaway_…

It's just another challenge, I tell myself. Just like training. And I'll be free of the claustrophobic feeling of being stuck in the district forever. The racing of my heart tells me another story, however.

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, _

_though it's not easy to tell you goodbye_

…_take a risk, take a chance, make a change,_

_and breakaway_…

I don't want to leave behind my family and friends, but I cannot stand it here, with the crushing reality of nothingness. To the Capitol, to all of Panem, I am nothing. This will make me into something.

_out of the darkness and into the sun, _

_but I won't forget the place I come from…_

_I've gotta take a risk, take a chance, _

_and breakaway…breakaway…breakaway_…

I straighten my shoulders and stare out at the crowd through the small grimy window. I will go to the Capitol. I will go and relish it.

The doors open then, admitting my friends and family to say farewell. The smile I give them is genuine, ecstatic.

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**So...yeah. Vote on my poll, review, suggest a song or a fear. Ya'll know the drill.**


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